Vampires are defined as corpses who have risen from the dead to suck the blood of living people; another definition is: anyone who preys on others. Living or dead, there is not much difference when you look at the ravage at the end of the trail.
Vampires are devious, they are smart, and they can only stay healthy if you let them.
Vampires exist on leadership teams, middle management, at every level of an organization. They look like you, they look like me. So, how can you be aware and alert to keep them away from your soft, juicy neck, to keep them from going in for the kill?
Here are ways to detect and protect from vampires at work:
1. Don’t be naïve: think twice before you befriend someone who is always handing around, asking questions, bringing you donuts and coffee, telling you that you look tired and they are there to help, offering to take your cause to the boss, willing to pick up your cleaning, your kids, your dog to save you time and effort. Vampire energy is helpful, scratch that, overly helpful, looking for ways to soften you up. Vampires want you to be weak and beholden to them to make it easier for them to get what they want, your attention, your talent, and your connections.
2.Check all assumptions: good advice period! However, when there are those who want to prey on you they will tell you all kinds of office gossip, play all kinds of office politics to get you upset. When you become super angry and want retribution from others who may well also be innocent victims, the vampire has won and is ready to strike. So, don’t just listen, go to the source and ask if what you have heard is true. You may save lots of wasted energy and lost production.
3.Listen for clues: vampires at work often use the martyr tack to entice you. In “Don’t Bring It to Work” the martyr, one of the 13 most common behavior patterns is detected by behavior; they are first in, usually before the office is officially open and last out, way after everyone else has gone home. They are very accommodating, putting themselves last. Martyrs all sound the same; they say things like: “I just want to help you”, or “You are important so other things can wait” or “I can’t sleep so working in the middle of the night is no big deal”, or “I’m here to watch your back”.
4.Say less: vampire types love to have as much information about both your work situation and your private life as possible. They will seduce you with their own sob stories to get you to talk and talk and talk. Whatever you say can and will be used against you if you ever decide you do not want to let them suck you dry anymore. These individuals are vindictive, and love to get human resources or lawyers involved once you attempt to stop having them feed on you.
5.Keep an email trail: Make sure you let the vampire know you are not willing to play; use short, simple polite comments that you appreciate their consideration yet you do not need their extra help. Don’t slack; this is protection, like wearing a garlic necklace. You want to make sure you have documentation that you have not succumbed to their ploys so that if and when they seek revenge you have your ammunition ready for the battle.
Every office has a few vampires. Sadly, most are not aware that they are manipulating others for their own self interest. The martyr who turns into a vampire most likely was a child who was either abandoned emotionally or abused physically. They are always looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places.
They need way more help than you can give them so be wary and be aware.
When enough colleagues feel the energy drain and begin to follow the five guidelines above the vampire can be seen in the daylight. They cannot survive in a healthy setting and when the jig is finally up they will hopefully get professional help. So, pass these tips to your co-workers and you can minimize workplace conflict.
Dr. Sylvia Lafair, Author, Leadership Educator, Executive Coach for over 30 years is an authority on leadership and workplace relationships. She is President of Creative Energy Options, Inc. Visit www.ceoptions.com and www.sylvialafair.com .
