Fear, Introspection, Position and Time

It’s cold, dark, and lonely back there in the pit.  Your thoughts are about how you’ve failed and how it’s your entire fault.  You wish that things could be different, but it is what it is, and you sit there with your head down, while the scenario plays over and over and over within your heart and mind.  Like a giant Merry-go-round, this self-defeating /self-destructive negative self-talk cycle continues within: I’ve failed; it’s my fault; I’m in a pit.  This self-defeating and self-destructive cycle is well-known to humanity; and often referred to as having:  a ‘pity’ party.   The pitiful part is: there’s only one person at the party.  Others refer to it as ‘pining for the past’, which is like trying to drive forward with your car in reverse.   You’re just not going to get very far, and you just might end up crashing a party, if you know what I mean.

 I’m not saying that thoughtful observation of one’s own thoughts and feelings is a bad thing.  In fact, it can be helpful for evaluating progress and deciding on new goals to achieve.  Deciding which thoughts merit our attention and which ones we should disregard, is not only necessary, but crucial for maintaining a sound mind.  Surely, we cannot consider every little thing that every billboard and electronic medium begs us to consider.  Our hearts and minds would literally blow up!   Negative thought patterns are real and often based on fear, which can wreak confusion and disorder on a life if left unchecked.  So, introspection is not altogether a bad thing when used properly.

THE CAROUSEL

In medieval times, a carousel was a tournament where knights and horsemen engaged in various exercises and races for a prize.  In many ways, life is like this huge carousel where everyone tries to get ahead of the others.  As with the carousel, at one moment you are ahead of the others, and then, for some reason, you fall back and they are ahead of you.  And as far as you can tell, you didn’t do anything different.  You sat there, kept your feet in the stirrups, and held on for dear life!

If this was a carousel, and you found yourself ahead, this would be the time when the horse is in full ‘up’ position in the carousel pattern. That’s exactly where you want to be when it comes time to reach your finger out and catch the ring: in full ‘up’ position.  Because conquering that ring is evidence to the rest of the world or at least to the others riding along with you that you were ‘good enough’ to make the necessary adjustments, deal with the ups and downs, and still capture the prize.

 

But, hold your horses!   There will be times when the horse arrives at the ring while in the lowest position in the carousel pattern and the ring is no longer attainable.  So it becomes “dang it I missed it.  Not because I didn’t try, but because the carousel was at the low position of the carousel pattern—the ‘down’ position and I couldn’t reach it.” 

POSITIONING AND TIMING

Now, before you go away feeling like a failure for not getting the ring, know this: everyone on the carousel experiences ups and downs.  And just because the conditions weren’t right for you to attain that ring on that go-around, doesn’t mean that your horse won’t be in the ‘up’ position the next go-around.  So there’s another opportunity out there, but you have to stay focused and reach out with anticipation and expectation.   It’s a matter of positioning, timing, and shared responsibility.  Why do I say that?  I say that because naturally the carousel will fulfill its responsibility of going around and positioning the horses in various positions.   That’s what it’s designed to do and will continue to do for everyone who rides; no exceptions!  But, the one factor that you can control is where you position yourself and what you are willing to do once you are in that position.  Think about it.  A carousel usually has 3 rows of horses, which means that many can race.  Naturally, if you choose to sit near the hub, the safest place, your chances of getting the ring are nil.  But, if you position yourself out near the outside edge, where things are moving real fast and the risk is greater, you find yourself closest to the prize.  But, being close doesn’t automatically qualify or guarantee a win.  Once positioned you have to do something that requires commitment and bravery.  You have to lean out, extend your arm full out and have your fingers ready to grasp the fleeting opportunity.  There’s the difference!   The difference is how you position yourself and what you’re willing to do to be a winner.  It’s called committing to the commitment.
 
One of my favorite Rubenism’s is “YOU CAN’T BE #1 ACTING LIKE #2″.  All this means is, you have to be ready even if you don’t get to go; this time.  Life’s carousel presents the opportunity, but only those who position themselves and bravely commit to the commitment get the ring.

 

HERE ARE 3 WAYS THAT HELP POSITION YOU TO WIN

1)       Focus on what is possible for your life today, and then use your energy actively preparing for those possibilities.

2)      Don’t pine for the past and its victories.  Discipline your mind’s eye to look forward because your steps follow in the direction of your focus.

3)      Pray; and commit your way daily.  This action will help replace fear and paralysis, with faith and possibility.

 The reality is we all go through down times in our lives.  It’s how we handle those difficult times that lead to either victory or back to the pit.  I encourage you to put your focus on what you can be today and tomorrow, and not what you were yesterday.

 

Ruben Colón currently resides in Houston, Texas. 

Core Competencies:  Relations and Quality Excellence Facilitator

Background: Marine Manufacturing and Healthcare

Manufacturing Experience:

• 15 years with US MARINE-BAYLINER
• 10 years with General Motors

Healthcare Experience:

•  7 years with St. Luke’s Rehabilitation Institute, Spokane, WA.

Professional Memberships: Toastmaster’s International

Currently pursuing a career as a service excellence coach and motivational speaker.