That should be more than enough to motivate me to move on, but I just can't. Either I'm too tired or distracted or angry or something.
I want to be a writer. I mean, I trained myself for it in college, and I still fantasize about it every day.
Unfortunately, whenever I sit down to write, I become exhausted. I can stare at a screen for hours and get nothing written down.
Freewriting, brainstorming tactics, whatever. i use them. I can get garbage on a blank slate, but I can't turn anything into anything actually worth having. I search for jobs, but I get no results. I try to write a paper for college, but eventually I have to focus on current events in my life, and my personal projects fall away, and I can't reclaim them.
Every 3-5 months, I restart things that I should've finished years ago.
I'm a mess, and I can't get out of whatever rut this is. Half the time, I feel like I should quit. Move to Arkansas and become a farmer. Blow my brains out with a shotgun. Become a full-time server and take up alcohol and whores. I don't know. I mean, how does anybody do anything?
How do you get over a motivational rut and start doing what you want to do, when everything feels like it's impossible?
Suggestion:
Dude, I feel the same way. I feel like I am stuck at this stage of life where I am going no where. I guess the motivation is if I want to become successful, I have to start somewhere. You should be in control of your life. No one can tell you what to and or how to live. Good luck!
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
It is really hard to get out of this rut when nothing seems to be contributing to your dream. I feel for you.
Here's what I suggest: First, go to your doctor and get screened for depression. Depression can take all of the energy out of you, and zap your creativity.
Next, see if you can either move in with your parents or a friend or couch surf for a few months. If you can do that, quit one of your jobs. Living with someone else on a deadline to get out (along with treatment for depression if you need it) will help you get motivated to find a job that you really want. The extra sleep may be all you need to get rid of your malaise, and the extra time will allow you to go to interviews.
Sign up for a creative writing class or join a writer's guild. Yes, you have a degree, and yes, you already know the process, but having people around you to motivate you, encourage you, and give you ideas and feedback is a great way to get back in the game.
Keep a journal. I've heard some people say that you have to write 10,000 pages of crap before you write anything worthwhile. Keeping a journal can give you a place to write that crap, especially about your own life. If you are blocked, do some stream-of-consciousness writing. Spend ten minutes every time you write describing things in the room around you. These are ways to exercise your writing muscles, so that they will be limber for when an idea does come to you.
Don't give up, and don't blow your brains out. There is a way out of this rut, and you can do it.
Good luck.
You must log in to post a comment.