Is This Just a Scorpio Thing? an Outburst of Emotion After I Saw Him?

I saw himm… haven't seen him in like half a year… and the thing is, I haven't felt this emotion that much when I saw him, but rather… afterwards… because… I was too afraid to catch up to him when he was leaving the auditorium to go home… he was already too far ahead of me, and my friends distracted me… I wanted to ignore everything and run there, catch up to him and at least say SOMETHING. The only thing was, during intermission RIGHT before the show began again, he came up to me and hugged me, told me he missed me, and then quickly went back to his seat… The only thing I got a chance to say to him is "heyyyy." it happened so fast….

I've been looking forward to this for a year… to talk to him again…. and I'm the one to ruin things… at the end, I could've ran and caught up to him when he was leaving, not get distracted by friends I see every day anyway, why why why whyyyyy

and to think I have an aries moon. The risk taker. This time it was no where near that

If I were to look at myself from the side right now, I'd think, what a wimp!! Youre supposed to be focused on career and education girl, not some silly emotions! Emotions are silly!

But… when I see him… I. can't. help. it.

It was a contradiction between my mind and my emotions!!!!
My emotions were yelling at me; "GO CATCH UP TO HIM, TALK TO HIM!! THIS IS THE ONLY CHANCE YOU GET IN 3-4 MONTHS!!!!"
But my mind has a greater control on me… it was like, "No. This is wrong. Emotions are wrong, you know that! Come on, you've tried all of this before! You've had all of these emotions before! Did they lead anywhere good? NO! What did? That's right, being motivated towards career and education. So don't make a fool of yourself, you've tried all this before and it didn't work."

I listened to my mind, but my emotions were unbareble. I never ever have any of this.

And now when I came home I just cry because I didn't catch up to talk to him, even a few words, even for a minute… it was my only chance in a year…

The only thing I've said to him is "hey!" I didn't have a chance to say anythign else after he hugged me and quickly went to his seat.

Now I'm killing myself over it, that I was such a coward. I'm known to be very confident by everyone, in fact; way too confident! But this time there was so much emotion, that I just restricted myself, because emotion is too dangerous, way too dangerous… if it comes, it's too hard to control it, that it's better to stay away from its source…

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. And to think I have an aries moon! The confident moon, the risk taking moon! And to think, I'm known as the risk taker… I guess I only take risks when there are no emotions…………………………..…

Is this a scorpio thing?

Maybe