With all the crazy feelings and desperation flying around, it is really easy to mess up your situation even more by staying in contact with your ex and accidentally flying off the handle with an outburst that you later realize you really shouldnt have said if you wanted to get him back. There are ways to deal with this, however.
Often you will hear the very good advice to take a break from each other, to enter a term of no contact between you whatsoever. What is considerably less common is to hear exactly how long this period should last. I recommend you keep it up for about a months time, as that is generally about the right amount of time for anger to die down and the missing of each other to set in.
It is absolutely crucial, however, that you stick to this rule with no straying! A lot of people fall into one of the two following mistakes and break the No Contact rule, making it all the harder to regain the respect and affection of your ex:
1. Drunk Dialing. Its natural to feel depression and loneliness over losing the love of your life, but turning to alcohol for comfort can have very nasty consequences. Sometimes you will find yourself so lonely and sad, that any judgement impairment can lead to a hastily dialed 3AM phone call to your ex that never ends well and is ALWAYS regretted in the morning after the hangover.
2. Text Message Terrorism. Being cut off from the one you love can make a person really desperate to win her ex back…so much so that without thinking of how it appears, she starts bombing him with an onslaught of messages, phone calls, and emails that only result in her looking like a head case. You dont want to ruin how your ex sees you, so stop yourself whenever you start to get the urge to do this.
Its important to fight against these mistakes, as slipping could cost you a lot…too much to risk. If you can keep a good hold of yourself, you will be far more prepared for when you start talking again, and have a much better chance of getting him back.
Always remember that although the no contact rule has the great effects of keeping you from digging yourself in deeper and letting your ex have time to miss you, its greatest value is the time it gives you to plan your strategy for getting him back in the long run. Having a proven process to go through will make everything you do have a purpose…blindly winging it will only result in making it more difficult.
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